Light of my World
by Babyinthetrenchcoat
Summary: Set in the End verse! Dean and Castiel's relationship has bloomed. But an unexpected turn occurs, Castiel has contracted a disease that will kill him. It shows the surprising beginning to Castiel's growth from innocent angel to hunter. Reviews are highly welcomed! Hope you enjoy!
1. Light of my World

Castiel had always been different, even from the other angel's.

He'd always be by himself, though he enjoyed the company of his older brother and sisters. They called him an old soul, one who was wise beyond their years. Even for an angel to be an old soul was rare. He remembers as a young angel sitting atop the highest building in Heaven looking down seeing all the humans. He longed to be with them, he felt a deep love for them, one that would never be broken no matter what stood in his way. Gabriel came up beside him and looked out with him,  
"You'll be there one day Castiel. Your training to become a Guardian is almost done, now all you have to do is pick who you want to watch over."

Castiel smiled softly at Gabriel's presence but it quickly faded  
"Do you think I'll make it big brother?...the others say that I'm too soft…."

Gabriel smiled and patted Castiel's shoulder  
"I know you will. I have no doubts because that softness isn't such a bad thing. That is what makes you so different from the others."

Castiel's shoulders sagged even his brother called him that dreaded word.

"I know I'm dif-"His wings fluffed in surprise as Gabriel stopped him in mind sentence

"Ah!" Gabriel said shaking a finger in a playful warning manner.

"It's not a bad thing that your different, in fact I was just like you when I was your age and look! I'm an Archangel! Be proud of being different, that's what makes you special."

Castiel nodded fully understanding what his older brother was saying. Castiel was special an angel with free will something that other angel's didn't have.  
"Special not different." He smiled to Gabriel  
"Thank you, Gabriel."

The memory flickered away once Castiel awoke in a cold sweat, the pain in his chest erupting again. He clenched onto it before the wave of coughing came too. His hand rushed to his mouth to cover knowing Dean was just in the near bedroom. The cough was so rough that it made his whole body hurt, the world was spinning, he passed out the world swirling into darkness. The bright color red blood remained on his hand for the whole world to see, he couldn't hide it this time.

Days before he'd seen the only doctor in all of the Camp. Only too find out that he had contracted Tuberculosis. Dean would, well he didn't know what Dean would do; he was almost scared to know there was a chance that Dean would get rid of him. He had kept it a secret until he could find out how to tell Dean.

Castiel awoke in the doctor's quarters, the cool rag on his head was the first sensation that he could register. His vision was blurry, he felt cold but then a warm hand touched his. It was Dean, at his bedside staring sadly at the man he'd come to love so deeply. He smiles softly to Castiel "Morning sleepy head." This sent Castiel's heart racing "D-dean….I…..I can ex-"Dean cut him off "Hey, no need to explain alright. Just get rest. I'm not leaving alright, no one's leaving." He patted Castiel's hand reassuring him. Castiel smiled to Dean while he asked weakly "You know don't you?" But before Dean could respond Castiel had another bad coughing fit, the doctor came rushing in Chuck following only seconds later. The doctor asked Chuck to take Dean out of the tent before the Doctor put on a mask. The last thing Dean saw was Castiel's pained face and bright red blood, this sent him into anger. "I have to go to him! He needs me!" Chuck pushed him back gently "Dean…he needs you to be there when he's stable. Right now you need to let the doctor help him. There's nothing we can do for him right now. I'm sorry…" Dean just stared at the closed tent hearing the jagged coughs and wheezing from inside.


	2. Flying

Flying. That was Castiel's favorite thing once he learned, thanks to Gabriel pushing him off literally but he'd always be there to catch Castiel if his tiny wings wouldn't hold him. It was always a freeing experience, jumping off and falling before stretching his wings to soar skywards once more. Come to think of it another reason he loved it was because he could see all of Heaven in all its glory and beauty. He'd come to love the highest place possible to view Heaven. He remembers Gabriel there teaching him almost everything he knows, but one day he was gone. No explanation from anyone as to why, he begged Raphael, even Michael but no one gave an answer.

Years pass with no sign of Gabriel, the one who became close to him was Anna. She was a higher ranking angel; he was assigned to her garrison. Today was the day he graduated, Gabriel was right! But he wasn't here to even see him…still years later no one would explain what happened. The only thing Castiel knew was that no one would talk, so it must have been something really bad. The thought that he could be dead scared Castiel to the core. He's heard so much of the war going on, but that is why he wanted to be a Guardian to protect.

Everyone readied themselves for their jump as the horns of celebration started; Castiel stole a glance over to Anna. She looked at him with a soft smile, and then she jumped. Castiel and the others of her garrison followed her. They soared through the skies of Heaven as one by one they were granted Guardian status by God himself. He felt the surge of power but nothing really had changed inside the Angel. He noticed just shortly after the look in his fellow angel's eyes had changed.

Time for the second jump, he had already chosen his charge. His name was Dean Winchester, an older brother to a younger boy named Sam Winchester. His family was torn apart by the murder of their mother then their father's sacrifice. It was up to Dean to take care of his little brother. Castiel has heard the name around; there was always chaos in this family linage. He's heard that the one he's picked sacrificed himself to save his little brother. He sold his soul and was killed by a hellhound, he now rested in hell. The war was amplifying, he was the first seal; the righteous man.

The horns sounded as the choirs of Heaven sang in tribute to the new Guardians, wishing them safe battles on the fields of war. Again the jump, Castiel kept his wings tucked in he fell faster than any of the other angel's. Then once he reached a good point he stretched out his wings feeling the wind through his feathers, this was going to be a new start. He was going to save that man; he's come to learn so much about. He was going to save Dean Winchester.

After Castiel was stabilized the doctor spoke with Dean of Castiel's condition. Castiel didn't have long, maybe longest was a few weeks. He was very late in the stages of the killer disease. The world had seemed to crumble around Dean; they had just started becoming closer. His memory flashed to intimate moments with the fallen angel, moments he'd always keep under lock and key for his own. Something that no one would ever touch, even if they wiped his memory his heart would remember.

Dean walked out of the tent looking up to the stars in the night sky. Anger building in him, tears spilling over "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED! HE SAVED ME BUT LOST HIMSELF! NOW YOUR GONNA KILL 'EM! YOU'RE SAPPOUSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY! YOU'RE GOD! YOU'RE HIS DAD FOR FUCKS SAKE! COME ON! HE SAVED ME! HE SAVE ALL OF US! SAM'S EVEN BACK! HE GAVE THE LAST OF HIS GRACE TO KILL LUCIFER FOR GOOD! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS! DAMN IT!" He hit a nearby tree repeatedly causing his hands to bleed. "GIVE HIM HIS GRACE BACK! TURN HIM ANGEL! DO WHATEVER BUT JUST SAVE HIM! I CAN'T…I can't..loose him…." Tears were falling and he fell to his knees in sorrow. No answer, nothing but silence.

Yeah the world was hell even after Castiel had killed Lucifer but it was slowly starting to become more peaceful, the virus seemed to die out. Those infected went through cycles but they returned to normal, there were many of them who didn't make it all the way through the cycles. But hey, it was a start right. The next thing to happen according to Chuck was paradise on Earth, how was that going to happen when the one he loves is dying? It's not paradise without Castiel by his side, even with Sam being there he wasn't whole.

A couple hours later after Dean got himself together. He stood outside Cas's tent, put on a mask and calmly took in a shaky breath. He shook off the feeling from before, and opened the flap going into Castiel's tent. He was surprised to find his love awake and sitting up, he rushed over to him instinctively putting a hand to his shoulder supporting him "Take it easy Cas!" A glimmer of hope shown in Dean's eyes. Castiel smiled gently pain was still present in him, even his body language showed his pain. Though Dean knew that Castiel would never admit the true level of his pain he still smiled up at Dean with that same lovely smile "Hello, Dean."

Days pass Cas gets worse, but Dean never left his side after that talk with God. He would stay with his love until the end, hell even after. Castiel had broken out in a fever; he couldn't even sit up in hurt him so bad. The thing that hurt him the worse was seeing the pain across his face when he would cough and the blood that followed. Time and time again Dean would wipe Castiel's hand and mouth clean, Dean would kiss the side of his cheek letting him know it was ok. That afternoon Dean made some soup for Castiel, he wasn't eating very much of anything but soup he seemed to like. He slowly consumed it he motioned "I-I'm done…thank..yyou." Dean nodded and put the soup aside before he laid next to Cas putting an arm protectively around him.

An hour later another attack hit Castiel. It was a bad one, even more blood, and more agonizing pain. Castiel gripped onto Dean's arm, his voice weak and even more horse than normal  
"…I-it hurts dean…" deans surprised by his admittance Castiel was still holding onto Dean and Dean holding onto him. "I'm here. I'm here." He held onto Castiel's weak frame cradling and kissed his head. His small body tensed with each cough, he could feel how weak he was. This was it. Cas was really dying. Dean looked to him seeing that Castiel's breathing had slowed down "Cas?!" His eyes weren't blinking; there was a smile on his face. Dean cradled his lover crying out in his own pain "…cas…no..no…..CAS!...CAS!" The pain was worse than anything he's experienced in hell or even in his life. His love, was dead.

Flying that was the feeling Cas was feeling like when Dean's face blurred and everything went black. Castiel called "Dean?..." he found himself in a void of whiteness. Where was he? He sensed a familiar aura Gabriel's voice rang out. "Hey there little brother." Castiel turned quickly "Gabriel!" Gabriel smiled "Long time no see huh?" He chuckled  
"I thought you were dea-…..am I?" Castiel asked even though he knew the answer.

Gabriel nodded "yeah kiddo, but you know you picked a good kid to watch over."

Castiel nodded "Yes, I truly love him."

Gabriel's voice melded with another known as God's "I know we saw your multiple sacrifices Castiel. You are truly a Guardian in every sense of the meaning. I'm proud of you my son; in turn I will gift you with something in return."

Castiel was amazed God was talking with him. He was proud of Castiel but what did all this mean. He was confused, what was his Father going to give him.

Back on earth, it seemed that after Castiel's death paradise on earth did happen. This angered Dean to his core thinking God was mocking Castiel's existence. Sam had gotten better but Dean was never the same after Castiel's death. He even thought of making a deal with a demon to bring him back, but then he remembered everything Cas went through to save Dean from that exact thing. It would be dishonor to Castiel if he did that. He visited Castiel's grave everyday bringing him fresh flowers from the abundance that surrounded him. "Hey Cas."His voice got caught in his throat every time he saw his loves name on the stone. A bright light engulfed the area followed by a gush of wind, as the light faded a figure stood there. The same familiar voice rang out "Hello, Dean."


	3. Paradise Lost

FYI: The following is for the dialogue in this chapter_. _

_ Castiel_/ **Dean**/ Anna

Note: Hello all I'm sorry it's so late my computer has died and for now I'm using my roommates old computer. Thus, here is the next chapter to Light of my World! Enjoy! Please don't forget I love my readers! P.S. Reviews are welcomed!

* * *

_ "Hello, Dean"_

Castiel smiled at Dean seeing him, he had the same angelic aura that Dean missed being accustomed too. Castiel looked around seeing the massive amounts of plant life, animals, how the humans have become closer with nature. The buildings were being over taken by the abundance of plants, nature was once again running its course as it did when he stepped foot here thousands of years ago. He approached Dean and Dean rushed over hugging the once again Angel. Tears once again fell from Dean's eyes but this time instead of sorrow it was of happiness. He was speechless; Castiel then did something unexpected of him. He kissed Dean with so much passion that Dean's head spun. Castiel's wings wrapped around them protectively, getting lost in the moment.

* * *

After the Fall back in 2013 Castiel -along with all his Heavenly family members- fell to Earth, wings clipped. The now humans have died out, because of the virus that spread like wild fire; though some of them survived. Castiel found Anna still surviving on Earth; she was a part of a small group of humans. The group was attacked and she was bitten, Castiel was too late he couldn't pull the trigger to save Anna from the infected male. Anna was bitten, she was going to turn.

_"A-anna!" _Castiel rushed to the red head, she looked shocked staring at her arm. There was a bite clearly present on her.

_"Anna…I'm…."_ Cas stuttered _"I-II'm so sorry…I c-couldn't…"_ Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder

Anna shook her head "No…it's..not your fault…I..I failed the group…"

There was a long silence before Dean cleared his throat **"So…what do you want us to do Anna?" **

Cas looked up to Dean _"Dean you can't be-"_ Dean put up a hand and Cas stopped.

Anna was holding her bite which was bleeding heavily, "You know Dean…I don't want to turn into one of those things!...please…kill me.."

Castiel's eyes widened but he knew that was the outcome before Dean even suggested it. Dean was loading his gun but Castiel placed a hand on his. _"Please…let me do it…." _Castiel pleaded

Dean knew they had history he didn't reject but he was worried for Castiel's sanity. **"Cas-are you sure about this man?..." **

Castiel nodded and Dean patted Cas's shoulder **"Take your time." **Dean didn't wander too far from the ally, he went to the Impala leaning on it keeping his gun at the ready. It wasn't very long when he heard the gunshot.

It was Castiel's first kill and Anna was the one to pay for it. Who knows maybe God was back in Heaven, maybe she'd be finally happy after so many years of being tormented by those she couldn't save both angelic and human. It was not only then that Castiel finally understood what it meant to kill but he understood Anna's pain. He placed a hand to her eyes closing them he spoke in Enochian "Go peacefully to Paradise, my sister" He then lit a match burning her body so no other infected could devour her. He met with Dean and as they drove back to camp Castiel was quiet, replaying the scenes he thought to himself. "_Go my sister…before that too is lost.."_


End file.
